Actually males are told to "man up" by anybody, women included (especially when it's convenient to those women). Nowadays, it's mostly women (and a minority of staunch conservatives) who talk about "REAL men" this and that.

I'd say it's the whole society to put pressure on men to ignore their feelings and do stuff. And it's going on since forever: after all, it's always been men to hunt the mammoths and fight enemies for the sake of all. And it's harder to do such things when you're in touch with your feelings. Men are "de-humanized" exactly because that's useful for the whole society - women included. Otherwise they would not be willing to risk their lives so easily (think soldiers, police, firefighters, rescuers, etc.).

Women talk about "equality" all the time but, when there seems to be an intruder in the house, any woman would push the male partner to go and confront the danger; she would not go herself, right?

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I'm sorry you had to endure emotional abuse; that's unfair and should not happen to anybody.

Yet men are not innately that way: they are molded by society that way (including by their mothers), because it's useful for society and nobody cares about men's well-being. Men have always be seen as expendable, and still are.

Who would do all the dangerous and dirty stuff, otherwise?