> "Hysterical bonding is a natural phenomenon that happens when a partner feels attachment panic, or the threat of abandonment by a partner."

Fear is the strongest motivator.

And yet most people deny this, because we're told that "Love is the strongest force". Yeah, sure, keep dreaming.

Of course the effect of fear hardly works long term, and it's not really ethical... nevertheless, it's clear it is mighty powerful.

Most of the time, when a spouse is stuck in his/her ways because of habit, comfort, laziness, or whatever, more love won't be enough to change the course. But fear might. For example, telling a spouse “If you keep doing X, I’ll divorce you” might push them to change.

NB: I'm not advocating the intentional (and manipulative) use of fear in relationships. I'm simply noticing that, despite what fairy-tales and society tell us, fear is often more powerful than love. Make of that what you will.