I admire your need to be a good person.

OTOH, it seems to me you're loading yourself with a lot of responsibility, pressure and guilt, for things that are often out of your reach (e.g. the so-called "patriarchy" or "rape culture" - that are mostly feminist myths).

I'm sorry if this offends you, but this makes me suspect that your parents (or just one) made you feel bad or faulty or guilty somehow, and you internalized this guilt. This sometimes happens with narcissist or manipulative parents; or a very suffering mother.

In other words, it's not normal to feel your level of shame and guilt - unless someone conditioned you into feel guilty and ashamed.