Jo, although you’re obviously quite smart and make some valid points, it seems to me you’re also naive or delusional about something else. Or maybe you’re a kind of saint and truly practice unconditional love… but the world (hence 99.99% of people) don’t work that way :-)

> We do all deserve better

Not necessarily. If I’m a total asshole, I do not deserve better.

> we all deserve unconditional love.

Nope. Again, see above.

Life doesn’t work that way. We get the love we deserve, proportionally to our qualities and merits. That’s why some people are much loved, and some people are not — it’s not by chance, it’s by merit. Life is not fair and equitable (and if you think it is, well, then you are definitely delusional ;-).

As per the Merriam-Webster dictionary: Deserve = “to be worthy of”. Do you really think everybody is worth the same? Gandhi and Einstein as much as Stalin or Mengele? If what you say was true, then it would work that way: we all would be loved. The simple fact the it doesn’t happen, shows you believe in fairy tales. It’s like Santa Claus: nice to believe in, but not real nevertheless.

> everyone makes mistakes

Of course. But not in the same way.

Some people are great most of the time, some people are often quite good, and some people are horrible most of the time. Hence they are not worth the same, thus they get from life — and other people — differently.

> There is no “right one”

I totally agree on this one! :-D

> But the only thing that makes someone worthwhile as a partner […] is “better commitment”

For you it might work that way. But if you look at real people and couples, there’s lots of reasons for being chosen as a partner. For many beauty is enough; for others is money or power; for some is intelligence, or compassion, or being loving. Like many, you seem assuming that what works for you, works for others as well. Nope!

It seems to me your ideas reflect more of a “world as it should be” way of thinking, than a “world as it is” one. If that makes you feel good, fine with me. But I’d rather see truth in the face (ugly as it might be), and looking at the world as it is.

“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.”
(Philip K. Dick)

So, just look at reality and see how often your theories become practice. Because the proof is in the pudding. :-)