> "the gender pay gap (if it exists: I am still waiting for a definitive benchmark)"

The "gender pay gap" has been debunked many times (by experts, I mean, not Internet weirdos). E.g. see: https://www.forbes.com/sites/timworstall/2015/10/25/lies-damned-lies-and-statistics-gender-pay-gap-edition/

What there actually is it's a "earning pay gap"; but that's a quite different thing (and it’s explained by women choosing less paid jobs and working less hours than men — not imposed by an imaginary “patriarchy”).