When I said that "fear is not masculine", I was talking about the male archetype, not on a social level. I never said that they "need to avoid expressing their fears and just "suck it up" ": that was your inference. :-)

What you're talking about is the "macho" model, and I despise that. It's unhealthy and fake and soul-sucking.

A real strong man has fears and is able to express them, but is not dominated by them. OTOH, nice guys are dominated by fear - and that's their weakness. I teach men (and women) to be authentic - and that includes admitting one's own fears. But not submitting to them.

Regarding the "real men" matter, I believe it's not up to women to define what a real man is. That is men's job. Women may state what they like and dislike, of course, but defining masculinity is not their domain.

Whenever I meet a woman defining what a "real man" is, I know she's kind of dumb. ;-)