> "Your husband may have a litany of complaints but you have a litany of excuses."

OMG, thank you for pointing out this and offering a balanced point of view.

Of course BOTH have issues and are contributing to the situation (as is common in avoidant-pursuer relationships), but many observers would take sides, play the "blame game" and accuse just one or the other.

But, as they say, "it takes two to tango". Denying one's personal responsibility will inevitably lead to the marriage's death, sooner or later. You can only fix what you acknowledge.